On mental and physical autonomy - a parenting manifesto

 As a teen, I never felt I was able to express myself or who I truly was. I was in a stifling religious environment and the only ropes I had to hold onto sanity were eliminator jr and my good friend Justine, both of whom are still part of my life. 

But it was when I had kids of my own I realised I needed to think about what sort of a parent I wanted to be, and I knew straight away I didn't want my kids brought up with the same hangups and sense of shame I was.

As they got older, I solidified what I thought, and it basically comes down to a couple of things:

* I will respect your physical and mental autonomy

* I will offer you advice and perspective based on my experiences, and you are free to take that advice and perspective as you see fit

* You will make mistakes. The mark of someone who is moving towards being a rounded human is learning from those mistakes

* I will adopt a policy of radical transparency with you. I will tell you about what I do, what my vices are and what I get up to - but I expect you to do the same

* I will love and accept you unconditionally

* I expect you to take ownership. No one is responsible for you except you. 

I know my parenting philosophies won't be right for some people. But they work for me. 

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